Proverbs 1:8 (NKJV) 8 My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother;
Yesterday we looked at Romans 9:29. In this verse, Paul quotes the prophet Isaiah. Both of these great men of God express concern for the future of their people. They know that they are in danger of missing the destiny and blessing God has for them. The solution to the problem is that there is a remnant of people who still hear and believe in the Lord. I believe the church today faces the same danger.
This is not a new situation. The church has faced this many times and every time it has, God has found a remnant of people who would stand for the bible and the principles he has called man to follow. I believe today is no exception. There is still a remnant who declare that they will not “bow to the idols” of the world even if they have to burn with criticism and ridicule. (Daniel 3:16-18)
What will it take to ensure there is a remnant in the next generation? It will take fathers and mothers who will have the courage to teach their children the ways of the Lord. We must teach them by both word and deed. We must not compromise even when our children cry out that “everyone else does it” or “that’s just old fashioned.” There has always been this kind of tension between generations but today is different.
I believe that we are standing at the beginning of the next great move of God and the opposition from the enemy is greater than at any time in my life. I cannot imagine the world my grandchildren and great grandchildren will live in if God does not move now. I believe we have a remnant. I believe God will move but I believe we must train our children to continue to be that remnant if they are going to survive and thrive.
The book of proverbs is full of admonitions to parents and children. It tells children to listen to their parents and parents to teach and train their children. It gives us many specifics that we can share with them that will help them be the adults God needs in the world today. The verse above is one of them.
I find it interesting that the child is admonished to obey the father’s instruction but the writer speaks of not forsaking the law of the mother. We might think of it as the other way around. The father is supposed to discipline while the mother nurtures. In truth, one of the main roles of nurturing is to establish the boundaries of life for the children. I believe this is a vital aspect of parenthood and one that is lacking in today’s culture.
There is a controversy today in the church world concerning grace and law. While true grace must lead to a response that will cause us to “flee” sin, temptation and the devil, the message today seems to say something different. “Jesus paid for all sin so behavior doesn’t matter!” The argument is that since we are under grace and not law, we do not have to worry about keeping the law. Although I do not believe the intent of those who preach this is that people should sin, I do believe that people are using the message is presented as an excuse for behavior that brings compromise into their lives and into the church.
This is in direct contrast to this verse that tells us not to forsake the law of our mothers. We are not talking legal requirements here but the standards of behavior that will produce godly living. Grace does not excuse us from them. Neither does grace excuse us from the Ten Commandments. On the contrary, grace should lead us to a greater desire to walk “worthy of the calling with which we were called.” (Ephesians 4:1) It is in this same letter to the Ephesians that Paul exhorts both parents and children.
Ephesians 6:1-4 (NKJV) 1 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 2 “Honor your father and mother,” which is the first commandment with promise: 3 “that it may be well with you and you may live long on the earth.” 4 And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.
Children are called obey their parents in the Lord. How different is this from the current psychological and educational climate that encourages children to question their parents and obey the cultural mores over the instruction of their fathers and law of their mothers. I believe the bible. I believe that in order for our children to be part of God’s remnant they are going to have to be taught to obey their parents. This verse tells children that a long and blessed life will be the result. This is both a promise of God and common sense.
Many years ago, we moved from one city to another and one of our children did not want to go. The school guidance counselor told him that he should not have to move and if he wanted, the counselor would see to it that he could move back. In other words, “You don’t have to follow your father’s instructions or obey the laws of your mother! I’ll help you be ‘free’ of that law.”
Our response was simple. We took all of our children out of school and taught them at home. That is our right in the US. My wife and I wanted our children to live long and good lives. If that was going to happen, they had to obey their parents. It was a sacrifice that we carried for close to 20 years but all of our children are serving the Lord. They are part of the remnant that will usher in this move of God.
Verse 4 brings the focus to the parents. It specifically mentions fathers but we know from Proverbs 1:8 that parenting involves both fathers and mothers so I believe we can apply these words to both. We must not provoke our children to wrath but nurture them with training and admonition.
This verse might seem to indicate that we should not do anything that will make our children angry. Any person who thinks that is even possible has never been a parent. The only way that is impossible is if you let the children “rule the roost.” I believe there are far too many homes where there is confusion as to just who is in charge. In our home, it was clear, “We are the parents and you are the children!”
We provoke our children to wrath when we make rules or requirements simply because it will benefit us. We cannot train our children if our main concern is to satisfy our own flesh. They will recognize that and resent it. We cannot say things like, “Do as I say and not as I do.” Children know hypocrisy when they see it. We must not punish children. We must discipline and train them. Our motivation must be for their good not our convenience or comfort. When we deal with our children according to our flesh, we will “stir them up to wrath” and they will be justified in their wrath.
We must admonish and train our children. The word “admonish” carries with it the idea of advising someone what they should or what they should not do. It also carries the idea of rebuke. It is not wrong to rebuke (translate holler at) your children if it is for their good. Your rebuke may save their life!
We are also to train them. Training involves repetitive admonition and instruction until certain things become second nature to the trainee. Training takes time and patience. If we do not instruct our children on both the how’s and why’s of what we are asking them to do we are not training them. There may be times when we cannot give full explanations and there may be times we must train them to obey without explanation. In the end they must know as much of why they must do a thing as possible. That is what produces real adults.
Finally, training is specific. We need to train them how to be good citizens. We need to train them in the Word of God. We need to train them in the things of God. We need to train them in righteousness and holiness. We need to train them in the love of the Father. The most important aspect of training is that we be an example of everything we are training them to do. Without that, they will never really learn to be the remnant God needs in the last days.
Leave a Reply